I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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