It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
