I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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