I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
