Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize