what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
