i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
