It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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