i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
