I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
