That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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