just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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