i permit you to call me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
