i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize