You're completely useless in the revolution.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Fuck appropriateness.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
