That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
