By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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