Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
