i may or may not be watching the land before time
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
