I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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