you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
