Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
