she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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