Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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