okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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