i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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