did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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