what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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