Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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