How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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