I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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