thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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