3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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