dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smell my finger.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's the barista slut.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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