just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
