You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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