my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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