$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
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Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
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What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize