i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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