bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
