did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
