question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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