She said her name was "party"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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