i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
