We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
