btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
