Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
