We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
