its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
