My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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