Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize