I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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