Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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