K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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