woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
