I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
