just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
