I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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