She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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