Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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