In the future we'll all be gay
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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