Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
