I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
