Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
