New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
