I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
