i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
