Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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