Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
