She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize