If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
