Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
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I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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