I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
